AT LEAST I DIDN’T…
Bummed because you thought that guy at the bar was about to hit on you, but then he said, “My frat brothers and I are wondering if you’re a real albino. What’s the verdict?” Pissed that the first day of your juice fast ended with you in the drive through line at Taco Bell? Well, at least you’re not so obese that when you die, your fat won’t cause a fire at your crematorium, like an unnamed woman in Austria.
Fox News reports, “Investigators believe that the mid-April blaze in Graz began when large amounts of burning fat from a 440-pound woman’s body blocked an air filter, which in turn caused the filter system to overheat.” The fire chief noted it is probably time for Austria to build a facility specifically for obese corpses, equipped to handle the risks they pose. I agree.
(Also, I am aware that I’m probably going to hell for this post. RIP, big lady! I hope there is Chick Fil A in heaven!)