Feeling embarrassed because you spilled a giant soda in your lap at TYLER PERRY’S TEMPTATION, and then for the rest of your mall outing it looked like you pissed yourself at a Tyler Perry movie? Feeling sad because you got drunk and accidentally friend requested your ex’s new girlfriend while trying to stalk her on Facebook?
Samantha Malson, alleged hater of awesome songs and impromptu karaoke
Well, at least you didn’t physically assault your boyfriend for singing Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop” too many times, like Samantha Malson, 23, of Longmont, CO. Malson allegedly pushed and choked Lars Hansen because he wouldn’t stop drunkenly singing the catchy jam. She claims she asked him to stop 25 times; when he didn’t, she reportedly confessed to police, “I grabbed him around the throat” and “I did it for intimidation.” Why? Because: “He just annoyed me.” She was arrested and charged with harassment, domestic violence, and assault.