Meet The Frenemies
THE STAR F*CKER
Hanna LoPatin is a writer/performer hailing from Detroit, Michigan by way of Chicago. In 2008, her one-woman show “The Sound of One Hanna Clapping,” directed by Ana Gasteyer of SNL, sold out shows at the New York Fringe Festival. Since moving to L.A., Hanna has written and performed several musicals including Glum! A Musical Parody of Glee and The Rebecca Black Story, both performed at UCB LA. She also performs improvised rock opera with Operocka at i.O. West. If she had to pick one star to f*ck it would definitely be Tony Danza during the height of Who’s the Boss?
Jeanie Bergen is a comedy writer living below the poverty line in Los Angeles, CA. Jeanie regularly performs in “Quote Unquote,” and has been known to frolic to San Francisco for gigs and giggles. She loves adventures (24-hour cupcake ATM, anyone? No? Okay. She’ll go by herself.) Jeanie studied Theatre Arts and Journalism at the University of Arizona and come fall, will be mastering the art of Writing for Screen & Television at USC. Holla. She plans on creating her own sitcom starring herself and Channing Tatum as her naughty pool boy.
Have you ever wondered why I like to drink? You don’t even KNOW ME, so just SHUT UP. This is a bio about ME. In addition to this blog, I’m going to learn to make wallets out of duct tape, and sew cats pajamas for cats. So tune in. There’s some smell in here, like a campfire of fancy furniture.
Alabama Vanderhoff is a writer/producer who drinks in Los Angeles with her husband and two cats. Her drink of choice is alcohol.
The Infiltrator: She might be your best friend or your worst enemy. You know her well, you swap hookup stories, she invites you to brunch, you do karaoke every Tuesday night… Beware, though; when she suggests you have just one more drink, or dessert won’t kill you…what is she really saying?? Think about it, no one is safe…
Stefanie Black is an actor/writer/director. She is a founding member of IAMA Theatre Company and a graduate of NYU. She can seen on numerous television shows being raped or abused, and the occasional comedy too. Her web series, FOR A GREEN CARD, is currently being developed for television and can be viewed on Blip.tv. It recently swept the awards at LA Webfest 2011.
THE HIPSTER BABY
My name is Declan. I was born in Echo Park one year ago. I love breakfast and naps.
This is the least humiliating picture my parents ever took of me. Welcome to my life.
Chucklemama is actress and comedienne, Barbara King. She resides in Sherman Oaks with her husband, baby girl, and two fuzzy pups. For more about her, please visit www.barbaraking.com. Follow her on Twitter at @chucklemama.
THE HOT MESS
The HOT MESS is a hot mess who lives by herself (you’re welcome) and lives by the credo, “Vodka is bad, but feelings are worse!” She loves making lists, quoting Oprah, putting her first name with her crush’s last name, deciding what to name her future children, and of course, smoking weed, which she realized may have killed any viable eggs she has left. When not watching The Real Housewives (all cities, she can’t choose a favorite) The Hot Mess fancies herself a writer and future wife of Ryan Gosling. Or her landlord, he’s really nice to her. As an avid facebook stalker herself, The HOT MESS knows you might want to look her up under her given name, Corey Podell.
We are Laura and Murry Baria. Our daughter is The Bitch. Things you should know about us:
1) We are the Sikorsky of helipcopter parents. What else could possibly explain our presence here?
2) You know how some people think no one is good enough for their daughter? Will you report us to CPS if we hint at the opposite?
3) We love our dogs. A lot. Please don’t tell The Bitch about our will…..
4) Daddyo spends hours every day trying to teach his dog to say, “I love you.” Mamacita tunes them out while trying to teach her dog to woof.
5) Bio notes: Mamacita played singing animals in children’s theater for an entire decade forever warping The Bitch’s (and a legion of other children’s) enjoyment of live theater. Daddyo was the local Santa Claus for an equal number of years utterly destroying the magic of Christmas for The Bitch, her brother, and all their friends.
6) Mamacita writes poetry. She is a doggerelist. Daddyo writes funny legal briefs, and wears them, too. Ba da dum.
7) We are patient listeners, to a point. Wine, yes, whine, no.
8) We are competitive. We like to win at games and parenthood. We like to, but, usually we do not. Our homespun motto is: Watch your back, Bitch.
9) We have verbal spewing disorder. Do not tell us anything unless it you wish to see it regurgitated on this page.
10) We thoroughly intend not to buy anything from the Bitch’s laughable Christmas list.
11) We both like to laugh. We’ve laughed at our daughter for twenty-five long years.
12) Sometimes in the dark of night, we wonder if, perhaps, the maternity hospital made a mistake and gave us the wrong comedian baby and that our true daughter is Chelsea Handler.
Eileen Mullane has extremely high morals and zero body image issues! GO VEGANISM! Eileen acts in shows like Fairy Tale Theater 18 & Over, movies like Vampires in Venice, and improvises with groups like STAPLER. Her stories have been published in fancy literary journals such as StoryQuarterly. And, she is a professional hypnotherapist and reiki practitioner at Higher Levels Hypnosis- check THAT out EileenHealing.com. Eileen loves yoga, puppies, and grown up puppies.
ManDaddy, also known by his given name, Mike Truesdale, is the manliest daddy in all of Los Angeles. At least in all the grossest aspects of manliness and none of the cool ones like abs or log cabin building. Mike is also a comedian, actor and writer specializing in using his dumb man-ness selling things on TV for money. Mike is also an alum of The Groundlings Sunday Company, where he sometimes played dumb men in the Bitch’s sketches. Currently Mike hosts a variety show at The Groundlings Theater, Mike Truesdale’s Variety Verite. Mike is married to Eileen, The Vegan, and eats too much meat for her taste and together they have a daughter named Goldie who is better than you already. You can see more of Mike at his YouTube page (http://youtube.com/troudent) and on Twitter (http://twitter.com/miketruesdale).
THE GUEST BITCH
I’m funny, I’m sexy, and I’ll probably be famous some day. Read my blog while I’m still willing to entertain you for free.